As we grow and mature in God we will be held to a greater level of accountability for the things we learn and know. There are many sins that we struggle with in our Christian walk. However, there is only one sin that is against self (the body) and can wreak havoc in other areas of our lives if we do not control it. It is a sin many want to make allowances for, but it is detrimental to our soul, our growth and our protection in God if we choose to willfully ignore what we have learned.
That sin is sexual sin. I Thessalonians4:3-5 (AMP) states: (3) For this is the will of God, that you should be consecrated (separated and set apart for pure and holy living): that you should abstain and shrink from All sexual vice. (4) That each of us should know how to possess (control, manage) his own body in consecration (purity, separated from things profane) and honor. (5) Not (to be used) in the passion of lust like the heathen, who are ignorant of the true God and have no knowledge of His will.
When we are physically intimate with another person outside the context of marriage; there is a coming together of more than just our physical body, there is a co-mingling of our soul and spirit. I Corinthians 16:15 states the following; 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Am I therefore to take the members of Christ and make them part of a [a]prostitute? Certainly not! 16 Do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, THE TWO SHALL BE ONE FLESH.
When men and women become joined with one another, they receive into their body, their soul and their spirit the essence of the men or women they sleep with (good and bad). Sex outside the confines of marriage, as it was originally intended leads to heartache, confusion, strongholds and a myriad of things. I am speaking from experience.
Justifiable?
People have all kinds of reasons to justify having sex outside of marriage:
We love each other.
We are going to get married someday.
If it feels good, just do it.
They are so good looking I can’t resist them.
I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Everyone else is doing it.
Hidden Dangers?
Defilement -According to the definition, when something is defiled it is corrupted. Its reputation is damaged. Its sanctity is destroyed. It is polluted. It is made unclean and impure. It is tainted, blemished, stained, contaminated, flawed, and disgraced. There is nothing good about getting defiled. This is not something God does to us. This is what we do to ourselves when we commit fornication.
Shame - God gave each of us a conscience, which gives us the ability to discern right from wrong. When we do anything that violates our conscience, our confidence before God is damaged. If we violate our conscience long enough, we can get to the point where we no longer even hear it speaking to us anymore. That is a very dangerous place to be.
Confusion - If you are in a relationship with a man, you are hopefully dating him to determine if he’s ‘marriage’ material. When you add sex to that equation it can skew your judgment. You may overlook things due to the bond that has been established with physical intimacy. Your decisions may be based on your physical attraction. You may make allowances for things that otherwise would be considered red flags. Women become emotionally attached. Some men view sex as just that…sex, alleviating a physical and psychological desire. How will you know whether it’s sex or more? Especially, if your heart is involved. Nothing and no one should take precedence in our lives over God.
Allows a foothold for the enemy - An evil spirit, which is an unclean demonic spirit, gets legal permission to enter into a person who commits fornication. The unclean spirit can point to the acts of fornication as their ticket to enter. When that happens, the person becomes more entangled in the sin of fornication, making it harder for them to stop doing it. What started as an entertaining thought moves into the realm of the heart where it becomes a consuming passion. This affection of the heart destroys our relationship with the Lord because our hearts are filled with other things, which are not pleasing to God. Our hearts are far from Him.
Fornication is literally playing with fire. It is an open invitation for deception to come. It is not what it appears to be. It might appear to be fun and interesting, but it comes with heavy baggage that nobody in their right mind would want. Mistaking lust for love has grave consequences. Take a look at the story of Samson in the book of Judges in the Bible…his desire for Delilah ultimately cost him his life.
However, there is hope. God always provides a way of escape from temptation. If you know you struggle in this area; be mindful of putting yourself in situations that leave you vulnerable and open to acting on that temptation (i.e. late night visits to ‘chill’ and watch a movie, flirtatious texting).
If you are in a relationship and you truly love your mate - love them enough to make the commitment to wait until you’re ready to enter into a covenant of marriage and become their lifelong mate.